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The Ickiness of Online Dating: Into the Thick of It
By Suzanne Saghier
Dating Apps Survey Stats
I sent out a survey to gain insights on the experiences people were having with dating apps. Only 10 people filled it out…
Luckily, some of this information comes from people in England, Lebanon, Australia and Canada.
This is barely scratching the surface of a proper research study, but here’s an idea of the kind of things people from all over are feeling.
The 52% Tinder statistic is from Statista.
Interview with Dr. Treena Orchard
Anthropologist–Sexuality, Gender and Health
How has the dating game changed in the last decade or so with the emergence of dating apps?
People have been meeting online in tech facilitated ways for a very long time. But [then] it moved to people’s phones and these very specific platforms for dating began to really be transformative in a lot of different ways and you know, really marketed as something really fun and something that is modern, easy, efficient, [and that] really sounds like you’re ordering a hamburger from McDonald’s. Romance has just become another product within the capitalist system.
Why do you think people aren’t finding the happiness they’re promised on these apps?
It’s our responsibility to push back against those really sort of singular narratives because that isn’t the whole truth. People are still using them, but they’re using them in a lot of different ways. People are unhappy, though, with some of the experiences because it’s quite boring and it’s very formulaic.
Do you think people will ever get off the apps or will they be around forever?
A lot of people have left them behind and some people still have them on their phone but they’re just like, checking right? Lots of people are [saying] okay, I found him on the app, but I got to look at his LinkedIn profile. I just think that people are kind of looking forward to the next version being a little more inclusive, a lot safe, and… um… you know, just less likely for, like, bro dudes just to come in.
Do you think those who have more success on the apps have a more open mind?
No, I don’t think it has anything to do with that. Depends on what you define as success.
Should people have to adjust their preferences to get a match, or should they stand their ground?
Stand your ground. Be open to things you might not consider because of how hard it is to connect. If you’re open and willing to try different things, you’re probably going to have more kinds of experiences.
Why do you think people get the “ick” and un-match from others so quickly?
Apparently women get the ick much more than men. They [evolutionary biologists] have connected that to actually kind of our reproductive success and being selective in who we mate with. Evolutionary biologists have, you know, got us off the hook for being icked more often than men. I think people are frustrated with the apps. So, I think the ick is connected with swiping fatigue.
Overall, what can people do to help themselves get through the dating app jungle?
One of the important things to do is to pace yourself. Having a few times a day where it’s just like that’s when you swipe or that’s when you respond, try to do that. It’ll make it a little less insane. Also, just try and combine different approaches so you enrich your dating ecology.
The Popular Apps
These were the most popular apps that people used, according to my survey.
The Suzanne Diaries 